The last few lines from the movie "Death Race"
"Someone once asked me... Did I think I was the best future for my little girl...
No one in this world is perfect... Everyone knows that...
But I love her more than anyone else can possibly could...
In the end... that's all that matters"
Hmmm.... Have got nothing else to say that...
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
The last lines....
The Last few lines of "Hellboy (2004)"...
"What makes a man a man... a friend of mine once wondered...
is it his origins the way he comes to life...
I don't think so...
It's the Choices he makes...
not how he starts things...
but how he decides to end them."
Hmmmm... I am not sure what to make out of it... still doesn't say where I need to walk towards... not about being a man...
But more about the choices... the heart says one thing and well.... no the mind doesn't say the other.. but it sure puts questions in one's head.
"What makes a man a man... a friend of mine once wondered...
is it his origins the way he comes to life...
I don't think so...
It's the Choices he makes...
not how he starts things...
but how he decides to end them."
Hmmmm... I am not sure what to make out of it... still doesn't say where I need to walk towards... not about being a man...
But more about the choices... the heart says one thing and well.... no the mind doesn't say the other.. but it sure puts questions in one's head.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
Hmmmm :)
St John Chrysostom said
“Those whom we love and lose are no longer where they were. They are now wherever we are.”
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
Mary Oliver
Courtesy: Jo McGowan's Blog
“Those whom we love and lose are no longer where they were. They are now wherever we are.”
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
Mary Oliver
Courtesy: Jo McGowan's Blog
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Wat Can I Say....
Love is always patient and kind,
It is never jealous.
Love is never boastful nor conceited.
It is never rude or selfish,
It does not take offense and is not resentful.
Love takes no pleasure in other peoples sins, delights and the truth
It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.
- From "A Walk to Remember"
It is never jealous.
Love is never boastful nor conceited.
It is never rude or selfish,
It does not take offense and is not resentful.
Love takes no pleasure in other peoples sins, delights and the truth
It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.
- From "A Walk to Remember"
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Untitled.... :)
Something that I found on youtube... actually no... another blog... but well it deserves every bit of space tht it takes up here... and I am only happy to put it up here...
Do Watch it... its short... but speaks volumes...
How tired i am of this unbearable distance between us
How i long for the toll of the recess bell
Have u forgotten me; grown mindless of me?
Tell me i am not writing into an abyss
Or that is what will become of my heart.....
Do Watch it... its short... but speaks volumes...
How tired i am of this unbearable distance between us
How i long for the toll of the recess bell
Have u forgotten me; grown mindless of me?
Tell me i am not writing into an abyss
Or that is what will become of my heart.....
Sunday, June 29, 2008
I Walk Alone.... Boulevard of Broken Dreams
A couple of weeks earlier... after returning my friends sister's scooter (An Activa actually but some stubbornly prefer calling it a scooty) at mehrauli....
I decided to walk back... I had no destination in my mind... Just music in my ears... words in my mouth... thoughts in my mind to give me company along that walk.
The walk started from the interiors of mehrauli... the smallest of bylanes that one can imagine... through shops... with people sitting around on the steps... peeping through their balconies.... some walking past to get to their homes... some walking by aimlessly with their friends... having a good time... and in midst of all this there I was... walking past with a song in my lips... and a tempest of thoughts and emotions... varying from every song that was being played... relating each and every one of them to some thought or the other... always putting two and two together and getting five... despite knowing that the answer should be 4... but how else would I be able to explain why they were not fitting... why things were not in its place...
Well anyways I kept walking... from thinking to the next bus stop to the next... kept walking like this till I had reached almost IIT... this was late in the night at 10... I was supposed to go to my friends place to pick up his bike... just dint feel like stopping... wanted to keep walking... but some sense got to me finally.. it was too late... and would have been indecent of me to barge into a home late in the night to take a bike that too for my own cause... too much to ask even if the friend would have understood... (funnily he realised without my saying so that I had been walking a long distance)
Well anyways that was the first part of the walk... a good 7-8 kms... dint realise how time went by...
Moving on to a few days back... took the bike and ripped across gurgaon to delhi... just to meet a couple of friends... in the night... there was nothing else remotely motivating on the offer.. not even a couple of drinks ;) ... yet I decided to go for it... it had been quite sometime since I had met them... so I ripped across town... met them at priyas... from there went with them in their car leaving the bike in the parking to pandara road for some dinner... time 1230am... post dinner me and my friend decided to walk back home... so that the other two friends could go back without any more trouble since one of them had a migraine... and had to go all the way to mayurvihar... another corner of delhi... I had no problem in making up my mind for the walk... surprising to be honest... wasnt sure that my friend would make it though.. but anyways we decided to go ahead... convinced our friends to leave without us... the time 0215am....
so there we were a couple of crazy guys one holding on to his helmet... walking in the middle of the night with no idea of the roads... but just decided to go back walking home...
The two of us were surprisingly silent on the walk back home... with the occasional banter of how our legs were feeling and yet felt we could keep going on... the random songs tht we sang... and from my end to be honest.. the occasional 'whats going on in ur mind' to escape from being questioned the same... just to show that I am very much present there physically as well as mentally. Well anyways, we reached AIIMS soon enough after making a slight halt at safdarjung flyover to enjoy the view... sadly it wasnt to be with all the construction going on... yet we stopped for a couple of minutes...and walked on...the time 0400am. We got there in good time actually considering tht we had decided in our minds tht it wouldnt be a surprise if we made it only by 0600am :)
I dont know why I wrote all of this... I remember I had this song in my mind before I started putting all the above onto paper... my walk from mehrauli...
Silly isnt it? Well... I remember humming to the song too while I was walking :D
"I Walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Dont know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a..."
Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day
Anyways... to finish the incomplete post above... decided to take an auto as I had to get back to gurgaon... so went till priya's got a decent rate even @ tht time of the night (I wonder how tho) picked up the bike which neither one of us were counting on to be there (considering tht we had no papers on the bike... all lost... its his bike btw) dropped my friend back home... had a smoke half heartedly... but then neither felt like it so threw it away... and I rode back enjoying the beautif ul sky and the wind in my face.... in no hurry... glad abt tht too... coz funnily when I did make it home... I was stranded outside the house with no keys... as my friend was gallavanting himself somewhere in Delhi (For all tht walking tht we did, we had a guy who cud have easily picked us up...)
Well sat on the bike outside the house... under the black sky just the moon for my company :)
I decided to walk back... I had no destination in my mind... Just music in my ears... words in my mouth... thoughts in my mind to give me company along that walk.
The walk started from the interiors of mehrauli... the smallest of bylanes that one can imagine... through shops... with people sitting around on the steps... peeping through their balconies.... some walking past to get to their homes... some walking by aimlessly with their friends... having a good time... and in midst of all this there I was... walking past with a song in my lips... and a tempest of thoughts and emotions... varying from every song that was being played... relating each and every one of them to some thought or the other... always putting two and two together and getting five... despite knowing that the answer should be 4... but how else would I be able to explain why they were not fitting... why things were not in its place...
Well anyways I kept walking... from thinking to the next bus stop to the next... kept walking like this till I had reached almost IIT... this was late in the night at 10... I was supposed to go to my friends place to pick up his bike... just dint feel like stopping... wanted to keep walking... but some sense got to me finally.. it was too late... and would have been indecent of me to barge into a home late in the night to take a bike that too for my own cause... too much to ask even if the friend would have understood... (funnily he realised without my saying so that I had been walking a long distance)
Well anyways that was the first part of the walk... a good 7-8 kms... dint realise how time went by...
Moving on to a few days back... took the bike and ripped across gurgaon to delhi... just to meet a couple of friends... in the night... there was nothing else remotely motivating on the offer.. not even a couple of drinks ;) ... yet I decided to go for it... it had been quite sometime since I had met them... so I ripped across town... met them at priyas... from there went with them in their car leaving the bike in the parking to pandara road for some dinner... time 1230am... post dinner me and my friend decided to walk back home... so that the other two friends could go back without any more trouble since one of them had a migraine... and had to go all the way to mayurvihar... another corner of delhi... I had no problem in making up my mind for the walk... surprising to be honest... wasnt sure that my friend would make it though.. but anyways we decided to go ahead... convinced our friends to leave without us... the time 0215am....
so there we were a couple of crazy guys one holding on to his helmet... walking in the middle of the night with no idea of the roads... but just decided to go back walking home...
The two of us were surprisingly silent on the walk back home... with the occasional banter of how our legs were feeling and yet felt we could keep going on... the random songs tht we sang... and from my end to be honest.. the occasional 'whats going on in ur mind' to escape from being questioned the same... just to show that I am very much present there physically as well as mentally. Well anyways, we reached AIIMS soon enough after making a slight halt at safdarjung flyover to enjoy the view... sadly it wasnt to be with all the construction going on... yet we stopped for a couple of minutes...and walked on...the time 0400am. We got there in good time actually considering tht we had decided in our minds tht it wouldnt be a surprise if we made it only by 0600am :)
I dont know why I wrote all of this... I remember I had this song in my mind before I started putting all the above onto paper... my walk from mehrauli...
Silly isnt it? Well... I remember humming to the song too while I was walking :D
"I Walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Dont know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a..."
Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day
Anyways... to finish the incomplete post above... decided to take an auto as I had to get back to gurgaon... so went till priya's got a decent rate even @ tht time of the night (I wonder how tho) picked up the bike which neither one of us were counting on to be there (considering tht we had no papers on the bike... all lost... its his bike btw) dropped my friend back home... had a smoke half heartedly... but then neither felt like it so threw it away... and I rode back enjoying the beautif ul sky and the wind in my face.... in no hurry... glad abt tht too... coz funnily when I did make it home... I was stranded outside the house with no keys... as my friend was gallavanting himself somewhere in Delhi (For all tht walking tht we did, we had a guy who cud have easily picked us up...)
Well sat on the bike outside the house... under the black sky just the moon for my company :)
Saturday, May 31, 2008
The Notebook
This is how the movie begins.... something thats being said in the background...
"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough. "
I must give credit to JD, thats from whom I first read these lines... fell in love with it then... got the movie and saw it recently... worth all the trouble I guess... It was Lovely
The letter that Noah writes to Allie:
"My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah"
The arguement that they have...
"Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Young Allie: So what?
Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out."
The easy way out... how does one recognize whether or not its the easy way out? How does one figure out whether it is actually what one wants?
I dont knw... I just have these simple beliefs... yet they are the hardest to follow... probably thats why I believe more in them... A little bit of hope... the rest are all just prayers... this way or that :)
"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough. "
I must give credit to JD, thats from whom I first read these lines... fell in love with it then... got the movie and saw it recently... worth all the trouble I guess... It was Lovely
The letter that Noah writes to Allie:
"My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah"
The arguement that they have...
"Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Young Allie: So what?
Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out."
The easy way out... how does one recognize whether or not its the easy way out? How does one figure out whether it is actually what one wants?
I dont knw... I just have these simple beliefs... yet they are the hardest to follow... probably thats why I believe more in them... A little bit of hope... the rest are all just prayers... this way or that :)
Saturday, March 29, 2008
My Trip to Space - A Poem
"My trip to space was splendid,
it was beautiful indeed,
we could see all the planets,
and went far far away,
from the earth
just like small birds
we fly in the sky
no worry no school
we longed to be
in the sky forever"
This poem (??) was written by me (with a lot of help from mom I am sure) maybe when I was 8 or 9 years old. I found this in a diary recently...
I don't know why I post this here.... I mean why give a spade to be hit upon ;-)
Yet, somehow, I was smiling when I saw this... smiling at the silliness of age... I am sure I must have been dying to get out of writing this at that point of time, giving a hell of a time to my mom :)
Still, I guess I would like to keep this memory running... reminisce sometime in the future... ie of course assuming that this blog lasts that long... and I continue to visit if not keep writing :D
it was beautiful indeed,
we could see all the planets,
and went far far away,
from the earth
just like small birds
we fly in the sky
no worry no school
we longed to be
in the sky forever"
This poem (??) was written by me (with a lot of help from mom I am sure) maybe when I was 8 or 9 years old. I found this in a diary recently...
I don't know why I post this here.... I mean why give a spade to be hit upon ;-)
Yet, somehow, I was smiling when I saw this... smiling at the silliness of age... I am sure I must have been dying to get out of writing this at that point of time, giving a hell of a time to my mom :)
Still, I guess I would like to keep this memory running... reminisce sometime in the future... ie of course assuming that this blog lasts that long... and I continue to visit if not keep writing :D
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Aaarrrrrgggghhhh.....
Aaarrrrrgggghhhh..... Been wanting to write for so long now... have so many things that I want to write on... somehow cant seem to take the time out for it..
Alright Alright... I am just a lazy Bum procrastinating... something that comes easily to me I guess ;-)
But how can I help it if all these great mind wracking ideas come to me when I least expect it and when I am not near a pen n paper (the computer.. so to speak)
I have had the title... the text everything running through my mind....except it never gets down to paper... and all of this is happening probably while I am having a conversation with someone else or when I am doing something else.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhh
Alright Alright... I am just a lazy Bum procrastinating... something that comes easily to me I guess ;-)
But how can I help it if all these great mind wracking ideas come to me when I least expect it and when I am not near a pen n paper (the computer.. so to speak)
I have had the title... the text everything running through my mind....except it never gets down to paper... and all of this is happening probably while I am having a conversation with someone else or when I am doing something else.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhh
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Today's Fortune...
Today’s fortune: You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems
Ha ha ha…. nice isnt it…. feels good… somehow we tend to relate with all that’s good going around you…. and also more-so to the bad things too….
Well I somehow am not sure about the fortune above… I havent tackled any of my most difficult and urgent problems of mine… hell I am not even sure what they are… everything seems to be so jumbled up… but then again.. thats been the way with me I guess…
Ha ha ha…. nice isnt it…. feels good… somehow we tend to relate with all that’s good going around you…. and also more-so to the bad things too….
Well I somehow am not sure about the fortune above… I havent tackled any of my most difficult and urgent problems of mine… hell I am not even sure what they are… everything seems to be so jumbled up… but then again.. thats been the way with me I guess…
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Random Thoughts...
it sure feels lonely……
I’ve been alone before…. but this sure takes the cake….
its like being alone from inside… how can that be… u cant be alone… u always have u with you whatever might be the case… but this time around… its seems like even that ‘u’ part is somewhere far away with her…
dont get ur mind running… the ‘u’ here is not her… i meant it more in the sense of the conscious… the soul.. the heart…
Yeah i know…silly…. maybe pathetic actually… to be saying this and writing it down to top it all….
but well… i guess i am saying the truth… why else would i be doing this…
you know its funny how things turn out…
i messed up…big time… i begged for another chance… i get it (?) and then as it would turn out…. i was at a place again begging for a chance for the same mess up… the same that had happened back then… somthing that whatever I did… it would never change… anyways… this is not abt tht… i got the chance… i worked on it… doggedly this time… with nothing in my hands…
somehow i began to think that things were changing… for the better this time… yeah the problems were there… there were problems she had…and i thought i was trying to the best to help her…. but somehow as it happened to turn out… it wasnt… or maybe it wasnt enough… well whatever it might be…
well surprisingly… i give in this time… (since she was sure that she was not happy with the way things were)… and me the silly fool that I am… told her that nothing else that mattered than her happiness… and if she felt that it was the right thing and that this would make her happy…so be it..
dint really know then… that was like the last nail on the coffin… my coffin… its true nothing matters than to see her happy… to see her smile… to see her feel free…
but somehow somewhere along the way… i kinda forgot how tht wud make me.. rather maybe i really did not forsee what that would do to me… no not her happiness and her smile and her being free…. but on the contrary… the lack of all those in my life… her presence… her everything…
and here i am now… at this juncture where somehow strangely i am not able to tell whether she is all that i just said…
i keep reassuring myself that maybe she is happy… that i am sure there are people keeping her happy and smiling…. however… i dont know why… its this strange new feeling… as much as i try to convince myself… i keep getting this thought… i dont knw… this question keeps creeping up… is she really happy… no not in the sense that a lover would ask or rather would secretly hope for… (being selfish ie) but well no… this is something different… i dont know… i somehow feel this inside… keep pacifying myself that its just mind games… but then… i dont know….
as much as i want her back… as much as i love her… i somehow still keep going back to saying the same thing… i hope that she is happy… that she is smiling.. that she feels free.. she feels the way she wants to feel…
i dont know what else to do… there have been many a times when i had wanted to say to her… but then… i really dont want to spoil anything for her… i really dont want to be the reason for her messing up something… i wish i knew what to do… and please not the regular jazz… let it go… move on… stuff like that… but no… i wish i knew what i could do to help her… i wish i knew…..
i miss it.. i miss it all… i miss everything… sometimes i miss me…. strange isnt it?
dont bother… its just the crazy me…. the nomad..correction…. the mad nomad :)
I’ve been alone before…. but this sure takes the cake….
its like being alone from inside… how can that be… u cant be alone… u always have u with you whatever might be the case… but this time around… its seems like even that ‘u’ part is somewhere far away with her…
dont get ur mind running… the ‘u’ here is not her… i meant it more in the sense of the conscious… the soul.. the heart…
Yeah i know…silly…. maybe pathetic actually… to be saying this and writing it down to top it all….
but well… i guess i am saying the truth… why else would i be doing this…
you know its funny how things turn out…
i messed up…big time… i begged for another chance… i get it (?) and then as it would turn out…. i was at a place again begging for a chance for the same mess up… the same that had happened back then… somthing that whatever I did… it would never change… anyways… this is not abt tht… i got the chance… i worked on it… doggedly this time… with nothing in my hands…
somehow i began to think that things were changing… for the better this time… yeah the problems were there… there were problems she had…and i thought i was trying to the best to help her…. but somehow as it happened to turn out… it wasnt… or maybe it wasnt enough… well whatever it might be…
well surprisingly… i give in this time… (since she was sure that she was not happy with the way things were)… and me the silly fool that I am… told her that nothing else that mattered than her happiness… and if she felt that it was the right thing and that this would make her happy…so be it..
dint really know then… that was like the last nail on the coffin… my coffin… its true nothing matters than to see her happy… to see her smile… to see her feel free…
but somehow somewhere along the way… i kinda forgot how tht wud make me.. rather maybe i really did not forsee what that would do to me… no not her happiness and her smile and her being free…. but on the contrary… the lack of all those in my life… her presence… her everything…
and here i am now… at this juncture where somehow strangely i am not able to tell whether she is all that i just said…
i keep reassuring myself that maybe she is happy… that i am sure there are people keeping her happy and smiling…. however… i dont know why… its this strange new feeling… as much as i try to convince myself… i keep getting this thought… i dont knw… this question keeps creeping up… is she really happy… no not in the sense that a lover would ask or rather would secretly hope for… (being selfish ie) but well no… this is something different… i dont know… i somehow feel this inside… keep pacifying myself that its just mind games… but then… i dont know….
as much as i want her back… as much as i love her… i somehow still keep going back to saying the same thing… i hope that she is happy… that she is smiling.. that she feels free.. she feels the way she wants to feel…
i dont know what else to do… there have been many a times when i had wanted to say to her… but then… i really dont want to spoil anything for her… i really dont want to be the reason for her messing up something… i wish i knew what to do… and please not the regular jazz… let it go… move on… stuff like that… but no… i wish i knew what i could do to help her… i wish i knew…..
i miss it.. i miss it all… i miss everything… sometimes i miss me…. strange isnt it?
dont bother… its just the crazy me…. the nomad..correction…. the mad nomad :)
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