One sound, one single sound
one kiss, one single kiss,
a face outside the window pane,
however did it come to this?
A man who ran: a child who cried
a girl who heard, a voice that lied
the sun that burned a fiery red
the vision of an empty bed
The use of forge, he was so tough
she'll soon submit, she's had enough
the march of fate, the broken will
someone is lying very still
He has laughed and he has cried
he has fought and he has died
he's just the same as all the rest,
he's not the worst, he's not the best
And still this ceaseless murmuring,
the babbling that I brook,
the seas of faces, eyes upraised
the empty screen, the vacant look
A man in black on a snow white horse,
a pointless life has run it's course,
the red rimmed eyes, the tears still run
as he fades into the setting sun
Showing posts with label heartbreak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heartbreak. Show all posts
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Gali mein aaj chand nikala….
Its funny how some things happen... ok.... maybe funny is the wrong word here.... but well I dont know what to make of it...
For the past couple of weeks and more… the moon has been pricy with its appearance.... havent been able to see it… have missed having the conversations that we used to have… ( yeah… talkin to the moon.. makes me a crazy person.....right? but then again does it??? )
Today someone posted this song on their orkut page...
A very beautiful song... soft and melodious....
Later during the night.... someone else (edition done - :) ) updates their profile on orkut... makes me go crazy... I dont know why it still affects me.... why I behave so… I mean.. I seem to be contradicting myself... but anyways... beginning to act mad and all hassled, I decide to step out for a walk and a smoke... and voila!!! The moon is out there... in the clouds.... with them still trying to cover the light shining through... sort of like a mist around it.... and the first thing that comes to my mind....
Jaane kitne dinon ke baad.... gali mein aaj chand nikala...
Must be purely coincidental that chand is someone I treasure... someone whose profile got updated.... another reason for me to lose my mind... seems paradoxical in some way.... I dont know.... but what is that I have done... what is it that I do....
Jaane kitne dinon ke baad...
gali mein aaj chand nikala...
For the past couple of weeks and more… the moon has been pricy with its appearance.... havent been able to see it… have missed having the conversations that we used to have… ( yeah… talkin to the moon.. makes me a crazy person.....right? but then again does it??? )
Today someone posted this song on their orkut page...
A very beautiful song... soft and melodious....
Later during the night.... someone else (edition done - :) ) updates their profile on orkut... makes me go crazy... I dont know why it still affects me.... why I behave so… I mean.. I seem to be contradicting myself... but anyways... beginning to act mad and all hassled, I decide to step out for a walk and a smoke... and voila!!! The moon is out there... in the clouds.... with them still trying to cover the light shining through... sort of like a mist around it.... and the first thing that comes to my mind....
Jaane kitne dinon ke baad.... gali mein aaj chand nikala...
Must be purely coincidental that chand is someone I treasure... someone whose profile got updated.... another reason for me to lose my mind... seems paradoxical in some way.... I dont know.... but what is that I have done... what is it that I do....
Jaane kitne dinon ke baad...
gali mein aaj chand nikala...
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Random Thoughts...
it sure feels lonely……
I’ve been alone before…. but this sure takes the cake….
its like being alone from inside… how can that be… u cant be alone… u always have u with you whatever might be the case… but this time around… its seems like even that ‘u’ part is somewhere far away with her…
dont get ur mind running… the ‘u’ here is not her… i meant it more in the sense of the conscious… the soul.. the heart…
Yeah i know…silly…. maybe pathetic actually… to be saying this and writing it down to top it all….
but well… i guess i am saying the truth… why else would i be doing this…
you know its funny how things turn out…
i messed up…big time… i begged for another chance… i get it (?) and then as it would turn out…. i was at a place again begging for a chance for the same mess up… the same that had happened back then… somthing that whatever I did… it would never change… anyways… this is not abt tht… i got the chance… i worked on it… doggedly this time… with nothing in my hands…
somehow i began to think that things were changing… for the better this time… yeah the problems were there… there were problems she had…and i thought i was trying to the best to help her…. but somehow as it happened to turn out… it wasnt… or maybe it wasnt enough… well whatever it might be…
well surprisingly… i give in this time… (since she was sure that she was not happy with the way things were)… and me the silly fool that I am… told her that nothing else that mattered than her happiness… and if she felt that it was the right thing and that this would make her happy…so be it..
dint really know then… that was like the last nail on the coffin… my coffin… its true nothing matters than to see her happy… to see her smile… to see her feel free…
but somehow somewhere along the way… i kinda forgot how tht wud make me.. rather maybe i really did not forsee what that would do to me… no not her happiness and her smile and her being free…. but on the contrary… the lack of all those in my life… her presence… her everything…
and here i am now… at this juncture where somehow strangely i am not able to tell whether she is all that i just said…
i keep reassuring myself that maybe she is happy… that i am sure there are people keeping her happy and smiling…. however… i dont know why… its this strange new feeling… as much as i try to convince myself… i keep getting this thought… i dont knw… this question keeps creeping up… is she really happy… no not in the sense that a lover would ask or rather would secretly hope for… (being selfish ie) but well no… this is something different… i dont know… i somehow feel this inside… keep pacifying myself that its just mind games… but then… i dont know….
as much as i want her back… as much as i love her… i somehow still keep going back to saying the same thing… i hope that she is happy… that she is smiling.. that she feels free.. she feels the way she wants to feel…
i dont know what else to do… there have been many a times when i had wanted to say to her… but then… i really dont want to spoil anything for her… i really dont want to be the reason for her messing up something… i wish i knew what to do… and please not the regular jazz… let it go… move on… stuff like that… but no… i wish i knew what i could do to help her… i wish i knew…..
i miss it.. i miss it all… i miss everything… sometimes i miss me…. strange isnt it?
dont bother… its just the crazy me…. the nomad..correction…. the mad nomad :)
I’ve been alone before…. but this sure takes the cake….
its like being alone from inside… how can that be… u cant be alone… u always have u with you whatever might be the case… but this time around… its seems like even that ‘u’ part is somewhere far away with her…
dont get ur mind running… the ‘u’ here is not her… i meant it more in the sense of the conscious… the soul.. the heart…
Yeah i know…silly…. maybe pathetic actually… to be saying this and writing it down to top it all….
but well… i guess i am saying the truth… why else would i be doing this…
you know its funny how things turn out…
i messed up…big time… i begged for another chance… i get it (?) and then as it would turn out…. i was at a place again begging for a chance for the same mess up… the same that had happened back then… somthing that whatever I did… it would never change… anyways… this is not abt tht… i got the chance… i worked on it… doggedly this time… with nothing in my hands…
somehow i began to think that things were changing… for the better this time… yeah the problems were there… there were problems she had…and i thought i was trying to the best to help her…. but somehow as it happened to turn out… it wasnt… or maybe it wasnt enough… well whatever it might be…
well surprisingly… i give in this time… (since she was sure that she was not happy with the way things were)… and me the silly fool that I am… told her that nothing else that mattered than her happiness… and if she felt that it was the right thing and that this would make her happy…so be it..
dint really know then… that was like the last nail on the coffin… my coffin… its true nothing matters than to see her happy… to see her smile… to see her feel free…
but somehow somewhere along the way… i kinda forgot how tht wud make me.. rather maybe i really did not forsee what that would do to me… no not her happiness and her smile and her being free…. but on the contrary… the lack of all those in my life… her presence… her everything…
and here i am now… at this juncture where somehow strangely i am not able to tell whether she is all that i just said…
i keep reassuring myself that maybe she is happy… that i am sure there are people keeping her happy and smiling…. however… i dont know why… its this strange new feeling… as much as i try to convince myself… i keep getting this thought… i dont knw… this question keeps creeping up… is she really happy… no not in the sense that a lover would ask or rather would secretly hope for… (being selfish ie) but well no… this is something different… i dont know… i somehow feel this inside… keep pacifying myself that its just mind games… but then… i dont know….
as much as i want her back… as much as i love her… i somehow still keep going back to saying the same thing… i hope that she is happy… that she is smiling.. that she feels free.. she feels the way she wants to feel…
i dont know what else to do… there have been many a times when i had wanted to say to her… but then… i really dont want to spoil anything for her… i really dont want to be the reason for her messing up something… i wish i knew what to do… and please not the regular jazz… let it go… move on… stuff like that… but no… i wish i knew what i could do to help her… i wish i knew…..
i miss it.. i miss it all… i miss everything… sometimes i miss me…. strange isnt it?
dont bother… its just the crazy me…. the nomad..correction…. the mad nomad :)
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
On Love...
This is something that I found on another blog that I have started following recently...
The answers to most of the questions if not all was a yes from my side.... does that mean I am in love with me... does that mean that I was in love with the person that I once was... and most importantly does that mean that I was honestly in love?
But what matters probably is not how I see my answers as... but how the other person sees them... what the other person has to say to them...
And unfortunately, maybe not all questions that matter to the other person have been asked over here.. and maybe that's where I have failed miserably to be in a miserable situation like this. Aaah the joy and pain of being in Love... :)
Well here you go... the post that I have been talking about...
How do you know if he is the one?
1. Does he love you (he must have said it once sometime back then. Try to rack your brains and bring out that memory)
2. Does he try to make you feel better? (he might not succeed most of the times but trying matters)
3. Does he listen, atleast most of the time (when there is no match going on in TV or when he is not in the loo)
4. Does he always listen when you crib abour your hair and your weight though he may not agree with you on either complaints?
5. Does he reiterate that you did the right thing when you doubt yourself?
6. Does he ask you to go home and take rest when you say you have a bad backache or a sprained foot?
7. Does he make you laugh even when you are feeling really low and sorry for yourself?
8. Does he eat your cooking without saying anything bad about it?
9. Does he mention you on and off in conversations with other people, always fondly?
If your answer to most of the questions up there is yes, then you are goddamn lucky. Remember that not everyone gets a guy who is willing to do all this for them. Yes, they are a strange species, but then, so are we. Enjoy what you have.
The answers to most of the questions if not all was a yes from my side.... does that mean I am in love with me... does that mean that I was in love with the person that I once was... and most importantly does that mean that I was honestly in love?
But what matters probably is not how I see my answers as... but how the other person sees them... what the other person has to say to them...
And unfortunately, maybe not all questions that matter to the other person have been asked over here.. and maybe that's where I have failed miserably to be in a miserable situation like this. Aaah the joy and pain of being in Love... :)
Well here you go... the post that I have been talking about...
How do you know if he is the one?
1. Does he love you (he must have said it once sometime back then. Try to rack your brains and bring out that memory)
2. Does he try to make you feel better? (he might not succeed most of the times but trying matters)
3. Does he listen, atleast most of the time (when there is no match going on in TV or when he is not in the loo)
4. Does he always listen when you crib abour your hair and your weight though he may not agree with you on either complaints?
5. Does he reiterate that you did the right thing when you doubt yourself?
6. Does he ask you to go home and take rest when you say you have a bad backache or a sprained foot?
7. Does he make you laugh even when you are feeling really low and sorry for yourself?
8. Does he eat your cooking without saying anything bad about it?
9. Does he mention you on and off in conversations with other people, always fondly?
If your answer to most of the questions up there is yes, then you are goddamn lucky. Remember that not everyone gets a guy who is willing to do all this for them. Yes, they are a strange species, but then, so are we. Enjoy what you have.
Friday, February 29, 2008
The Distance - Evan and Joran
The sky has lost its color
The sun has turned to grey
At least thats how it feels to me
Whenever youre away
I crawl up in the corner
To watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The time youre cominback
I cant take the distance
I cant the miles
I cant take the time until I next see you smile
I cant take the distance
And Im not ashamed
That with every breath I take Im callinyour name
But I cant take the distance
I still believe my feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe youre close to me
But it aint close enough
Not nearly close enough
I cant take the distance
I cant the miles
I cant take the time until I next see you smile
I cant take the distance
And Im not ashamed
That with every breath I take Im callinyour name
I brave fire and I brave rain
To be by your side Id do anything
I cant take the distance
I will go the distance
I will go the miles
Thats how much you mean to me
cause I cant take the distance
I cant take these miles
I cant take the time until I next see you smile
I cant take the distance
And Im not ashamed
That with every breath I take Im callinyour name
I cant take the distance
Its hard to remember
As long as youre away
When I find solace
Theres only one way
The sun has turned to grey
At least thats how it feels to me
Whenever youre away
I crawl up in the corner
To watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The time youre cominback
I cant take the distance
I cant the miles
I cant take the time until I next see you smile
I cant take the distance
And Im not ashamed
That with every breath I take Im callinyour name
But I cant take the distance
I still believe my feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe youre close to me
But it aint close enough
Not nearly close enough
I cant take the distance
I cant the miles
I cant take the time until I next see you smile
I cant take the distance
And Im not ashamed
That with every breath I take Im callinyour name
I brave fire and I brave rain
To be by your side Id do anything
I cant take the distance
I will go the distance
I will go the miles
Thats how much you mean to me
cause I cant take the distance
I cant take these miles
I cant take the time until I next see you smile
I cant take the distance
And Im not ashamed
That with every breath I take Im callinyour name
I cant take the distance
Its hard to remember
As long as youre away
When I find solace
Theres only one way
Friday, February 15, 2008
On love and its loss or on hope and faith??
A very beautiful song that I have always loved... something that I always used to sing... still do more so...
love the lyrics... the way its been sung... the visuals... everything about it makes me feel good... gives me hope... love it completely....
sometimes I think how silly it is of me.... to believe in it... to think of all this... to be like this... but then again.. I begin to realize... this is like my second skin.. this is the way I am.. this is how I feel.... this is how I love...
does everything that I feel hold no truth... is it just something that I dont realise and understand... are the people around me telling the truth... should I stop believing in myself? Should I stop believing in the one thing that I have always believed in and stood by... my self... my conscience
I wonder where the road leads .... I wonder what role I am to play....
For those who get to read this do listen to it as well....
love the lyrics... the way its been sung... the visuals... everything about it makes me feel good... gives me hope... love it completely....
sometimes I think how silly it is of me.... to believe in it... to think of all this... to be like this... but then again.. I begin to realize... this is like my second skin.. this is the way I am.. this is how I feel.... this is how I love...
does everything that I feel hold no truth... is it just something that I dont realise and understand... are the people around me telling the truth... should I stop believing in myself? Should I stop believing in the one thing that I have always believed in and stood by... my self... my conscience
I wonder where the road leads .... I wonder what role I am to play....
For those who get to read this do listen to it as well....
Monday, February 4, 2008
About Letting Go.... Moving On...
Letting go...
What is it that one is supposed to do wheb they are to let go? What is it that they are to let go? Their feelings? Their emotions? Their dreams? Why?
Moving on...
Now this seems to be another favourite and probably closer to the mark. One needs to move on. But then again, move on from what? Your dreams? The things that you had imagined? From something that had you be the happiest? So if everyone just keeps letting go and keeps moving on then how is it that all great people fulfil their dreams their desires that they have despite all the obstacles they face? I might be no great person but why should I be expected to let go and move on? Move on from something someone that I treasure the most? I cant do that.Much more than anything else I dont want to!!!
What is it that one is supposed to do wheb they are to let go? What is it that they are to let go? Their feelings? Their emotions? Their dreams? Why?
Moving on...
Now this seems to be another favourite and probably closer to the mark. One needs to move on. But then again, move on from what? Your dreams? The things that you had imagined? From something that had you be the happiest? So if everyone just keeps letting go and keeps moving on then how is it that all great people fulfil their dreams their desires that they have despite all the obstacles they face? I might be no great person but why should I be expected to let go and move on? Move on from something someone that I treasure the most? I cant do that.Much more than anything else I dont want to!!!
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